Coming out to your parents and family about your sexuality
Published on January 20, 2021
The need to tell is now bigger than ever since it’s the age where if you are not confident about who you are then your life will perish. But collecting the courage to do so requires a lot of thinking and planning. It would help if there was a simple guide that you can consult for guidance so that you can easily navigate the path of this essential conversation. Right? Well, here are our tips to help you in coming out to your parents and family about your sexuality.
The very first thing you should consider is what is the outlook of your parents and family. Are they homophobic? Or have they ever showed negative sentiments about the LGBTQ community? How the actual conversations occur in your family if the topic ever rises in the vicinity due to media coverage or any other medium? If the answer is negative then you should preferably don’t tell them since it would cause a lot of damage to your relationship if you are dependent on them. The idea here is to first make yourself independent and then have this conversation. In this way, you would be solely responsible for your life and this would lead to a much better position in terms of your standing.
Determining the right time also comes here. You must take time to assess all about your own personal situations and standings so that you are fully supported by your peer group. You should also be clear about your identity. If you are confused about this then that would reflect in your attitude and can lead to complexities. Believe us, people could smell confusion and hesitation. And a single moment of weakness could enable your negative parents and family to coarse you into thinking otherwise. Also, you should assess the situations at home. Are your parents going through some turmoil? Have something bad happened in recent days? If the situation is not right then you should stop yourself from taking any decision and coming out with it. Wait for the smooth seas and then sail on them.
- Plan Ahead
Picking a good time and place is the most basic idea and you should adhere to that. Make sure that you chose a place where everyone or the person you are going to divulge the information is comfortable and giving full attention to you. Although, there is no such thing as ‘perfect time’ still you could plan ahead. The major problem here is that you have doubts about the parent’s first reaction and whom they are going to tell ahead. Yes, it is necessary to think about these things and also chose a time when they are alone and you are having family time. And you should be clear that no one is going to disturb you at that moment. These things need to be clearly stated and then you should be able to answer them satisfactorily.
- Know About Your Situation
Be confident about your answers. Yes, there are going to be numerous questions and some may be hard ones but keeping calm and trying to clear your situation is going to help. Uncomfortable situations can be death easily if you try to look at the situation from another person’s perspective. They are also coming from some point of view and it could help if you understand where they are coming from and why they are panicking if this happens. Be as honest as you can.
Use social media to influence your parents here. Help them in getting information and education about this topic and show them there are people out there who are like you and there are whole research and study that shows it’s natural. You can let them talk to your friends who have come out earlier and also you can also help them in meeting the parents of such person. This will help you to make them understand that it’s natural and it’s part of life and people are genuinely happy when they are open about their sexuality.
It might take time for them to get adjusted to this new reality but it’s okay. Things don’t need to be right at the exact time. You just need to show them that it’s not going to change your life. You could also make them meet the people in your fraternity who are happy and successful. Show them your peer groups, online communities, festivals, and more.
- Use Positive Responses
If you perceive that the family is angry then reassure them by putting your point across very politely. Tell their mood by putting across statements where you are reassuring that it’s normal to get angry or worried. Ask them for their help and tell them about future possibilities. Tell them that it will take time and you are ready to give that time to them.
- Be Focused on Positive
- Plan According to Family Members
Most of them will be shocked and it’s totally okay. Shock is a part of the process. It takes time for this kind of news to sink in. You could shower your love through proper gifts are showing your gratitude by doing something that they love in you. Making dinner, bring king gifts, cleaning the room, etc are tools you can use to convince them that you are very much thankful for their attention and value their love towards you. It’s all about showing respect for their views. Tell them it’s okay if they are having a hard time digesting the information. But be there when they have doubts.