sex after kids?
By: Onlineintimates
Published on November 02, 2020
Published on November 02, 2020
Being the mother is the ultimate joy of life. We agree - The whole world agrees. Surely there is this bright side to this natural phenomenon but it has one or two bad points. One of them is the loss of sex life. Bringing a kid into the world affects every area of one’s life and sex life is one of the major areas. There is a completely new dynamic in the equation now which can change the course of life. Time, sleep, schedule, life, everything becomes entangled in a knot that is centered on the kid and in most circumstances this causes problems in resuming your phenomenal sex life.
Further to recent studies show, if proper planning is done, being a mother can add to your sex life it can bring more things to the table and various relationship coaches has proven that it can strengthen the relationship along with improving the sex life. But there is a long road ahead and you my friend need to patient and willing to take risks.
So here is a definitive list of the steps and areas you can think and discuss with your partner for improving your sex life after having kids.
Further to recent studies show, if proper planning is done, being a mother can add to your sex life it can bring more things to the table and various relationship coaches has proven that it can strengthen the relationship along with improving the sex life. But there is a long road ahead and you my friend need to patient and willing to take risks.
So here is a definitive list of the steps and areas you can think and discuss with your partner for improving your sex life after having kids.
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1. Attitude
If you have started looking at sex as a chore then you are seriously in a downward path. Sex is not a chore that you do on a schedule. It is a natural phenomenon which the body needs for proper functional at both physical and mental level. It is an emotional need. So the very first thing you have to do is to stop looking at sex as a chore or task and anticipate the pleasure you used to derive from this activity. Yes this can be enhanced using sex toys and other related items however, It’s the experience of love with your partner that matters most.
2. Time
Time is valuable. And time is the single most important entity in your life which gets affected after the kid’s arrival. The hours change their priorities. There is always something to do on your to-do list and having sex on that list seems inappropriate or looking like a task that needs to be done. But here you have to schedule some things. Surely, it would take a lot of planning but you have put yourself first because a satisfied version of you will be much better equipped to handle your kids and life.
3. Sleep
Sleep is necessary for sexual life. It relaxes the body and gives it time to do it’s healing and proper work. It also balances the hormones which allow you to lead a healthy and balanced life. Having a kid and taking care of him/her deprives you of your sleep. It’s time to bring a baby sitter for helping you with managing your sleep and thus making you more susceptible to sexual desires to better sexual life and life in general.
4. Share The Chores
Studies have shown that couples who share house chores are prone to having sex on a more frequent basis than couples who don’t share. Chores allow the couple to bond over something and opens up the possibilities of communication and physical interaction leading to hormonal release increase in want of each other. You can ask your partner to help in managing time, cleaning the house, doing baby chores, amongst other things, thus open up possibilities.
Also while sharing the chores you can spice things up by being touchier with each other. You can do unexpected things with each while doing chores which may not lead up to the sex and that is fine but keeps each other in sexual tension. Kissing randomly, fondling while doing chores, doing sexual things in the car while going out to take groceries are some of the options you can explore.
5. Sex Toys
The most effective method which just spices up the sex life. There are hundreds of sex toys available in the market to be explored and through them, you can add just the perfect element for great anticipation and diversity to your sexual life. There is something new at each step to be explored which will keep you and your partner on their feet to do every day. You can enjoy lots of kinks and have a wonderful time with each other.
6. Fetishes
This needs to be communicated. Everyone has different fetishes. You can just talk to your partner about creating a list including the names of fetishes you want to enjoy. There is no need to complete each one of them. Just try to note them down. The first thing it does is to stimulate the imagination and desire and secondly it is sure to open up new ways for you to reconnect sexually. Because there is always something which you both will enjoy and you haven’t explored yet leading to variety and more healthy sexual relations with each other.
7. Hotel Sex
We become psychologically to adapt to one place. The aura and feel of one place become a routine and have a different thinking pattern in that place seems impossible. It’s just like not being able to sleep in one bed while changing the place does the trick. So try hotel sex. Book a hotel room with your partner and plan. Give the responsibility of kid to one of your relatives and keep in mind that he/she should be trustworthy so that you don’t need to worry about your kid while enjoying alone time with your partner. Go on a trip and enjoy the hotel with your partner. The new space and relaxing atmosphere allow you to reconnect and rekindles the romantic fire which enabled you to have the kid together. It has worked always in the past, it will work again.
Sex after kids is tricky but it can be a better experience for you if you play the right cards and at the right time. If still, the problem persists, instead of being silent about it, take up an appointment with a relationship coach, and talk about things with your partner. Many times it is just a matter of broken communication due to a busy schedule after the coming of the baby. But sex is just around the corner. You just have to find it.
If you have started looking at sex as a chore then you are seriously in a downward path. Sex is not a chore that you do on a schedule. It is a natural phenomenon which the body needs for proper functional at both physical and mental level. It is an emotional need. So the very first thing you have to do is to stop looking at sex as a chore or task and anticipate the pleasure you used to derive from this activity. Yes this can be enhanced using sex toys and other related items however, It’s the experience of love with your partner that matters most.
2. Time
Time is valuable. And time is the single most important entity in your life which gets affected after the kid’s arrival. The hours change their priorities. There is always something to do on your to-do list and having sex on that list seems inappropriate or looking like a task that needs to be done. But here you have to schedule some things. Surely, it would take a lot of planning but you have put yourself first because a satisfied version of you will be much better equipped to handle your kids and life.
3. Sleep
Sleep is necessary for sexual life. It relaxes the body and gives it time to do it’s healing and proper work. It also balances the hormones which allow you to lead a healthy and balanced life. Having a kid and taking care of him/her deprives you of your sleep. It’s time to bring a baby sitter for helping you with managing your sleep and thus making you more susceptible to sexual desires to better sexual life and life in general.
4. Share The Chores
Studies have shown that couples who share house chores are prone to having sex on a more frequent basis than couples who don’t share. Chores allow the couple to bond over something and opens up the possibilities of communication and physical interaction leading to hormonal release increase in want of each other. You can ask your partner to help in managing time, cleaning the house, doing baby chores, amongst other things, thus open up possibilities.
Also while sharing the chores you can spice things up by being touchier with each other. You can do unexpected things with each while doing chores which may not lead up to the sex and that is fine but keeps each other in sexual tension. Kissing randomly, fondling while doing chores, doing sexual things in the car while going out to take groceries are some of the options you can explore.
5. Sex Toys
The most effective method which just spices up the sex life. There are hundreds of sex toys available in the market to be explored and through them, you can add just the perfect element for great anticipation and diversity to your sexual life. There is something new at each step to be explored which will keep you and your partner on their feet to do every day. You can enjoy lots of kinks and have a wonderful time with each other.
6. Fetishes
This needs to be communicated. Everyone has different fetishes. You can just talk to your partner about creating a list including the names of fetishes you want to enjoy. There is no need to complete each one of them. Just try to note them down. The first thing it does is to stimulate the imagination and desire and secondly it is sure to open up new ways for you to reconnect sexually. Because there is always something which you both will enjoy and you haven’t explored yet leading to variety and more healthy sexual relations with each other.
7. Hotel Sex
We become psychologically to adapt to one place. The aura and feel of one place become a routine and have a different thinking pattern in that place seems impossible. It’s just like not being able to sleep in one bed while changing the place does the trick. So try hotel sex. Book a hotel room with your partner and plan. Give the responsibility of kid to one of your relatives and keep in mind that he/she should be trustworthy so that you don’t need to worry about your kid while enjoying alone time with your partner. Go on a trip and enjoy the hotel with your partner. The new space and relaxing atmosphere allow you to reconnect and rekindles the romantic fire which enabled you to have the kid together. It has worked always in the past, it will work again.
Sex after kids is tricky but it can be a better experience for you if you play the right cards and at the right time. If still, the problem persists, instead of being silent about it, take up an appointment with a relationship coach, and talk about things with your partner. Many times it is just a matter of broken communication due to a busy schedule after the coming of the baby. But sex is just around the corner. You just have to find it.
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